Universal Language Guide

What is Universal Language?

Universal language refers to a language spoken and understood by all or most of a group of people. Our Universal Language at Kids Capers is a language that we envisage all Educators and Families understanding and using across both the home and Centre environments to work toward the best outcomes for the children in our care.

Why a Universal Language?

To increase children’s opportunities for language development, as well as assisting Educators and Kids Capers families to consistently guide children’s behaviour in ways that are focussed on supporting children to develop skills to self-regulate, while preserving and promoting children’s self-esteem (NQS 5.2)

How will this be implemented?

This handbook has been developed for the use of Educators and Families of Kids Capers Childcare. Educators and Parents are strongly encouraged to use the language and approaches in the handbook to provide a consistent approach to positively guiding children’s behaviour from nursery to Kindergarten age and across their home and Centre environments.

Remember to:

  1. Keep it simple, clear and concise - Children will lose focus if your explanation is too lengthy, especially in younger age groups.

  2. Acknowledge and validate the behaviour or feelings of the child as the first point of contact

    • Example: “I can see that you are trying to get to the bathroom quickly… but do you think it is safe to run inside?” OR “I can see that you are feeling angry… What else could you do if you’re feeling angry other than hurting your friend?”

  3. Use positive undertones instead of negative and ensure that what you want the child to remember is said last

    • Example: “It’s not safe to run, walking feet inside please” as opposed to “No running inside”

  4. Talk with the child/ren, not at them

    • Get down to their level

    • Encourage eye contact, if culturally appropriate.

    • Bring the child in by encouraging physical contact. Depending on age you can sit them on your lap, place your hands gently on their shoulders or hold their hands

    • Acknowledge positive behaviours displayed by children – in doing so, be sure to acknowledge the behaviour and why it is positive behaviour

      • Example: “I appreciate how you helped pack away, that means we can go outside sooner.”

    • Respect children’s dignity by respecting their right to be spoken to in private where possible and by using a calm voice

  5. Where possible provide the child with choices

    • Example: “I can see you’re angry, would you like to have some quiet time to calm down before we talk or maybe a stress ball to squeeze?”

    • Model behaviours and language for children as a way of reinforcing the intended use and explicitly showing the child how to express themselves.. This is especially important in nursery and toddler age groups, however it is effective in all situations.

    • Remember that all children, including babies, are competent and capable learners and can be communicated to in similar dialect, but younger children will need guidance with answers more often than older children. This is also key to ensuring strong language development from an early age.

    • At Kids Capers Childcare we use a 4 Step Apology approach when necessary and encourage that you use the same approach at home to provide consistency.

The 4 Step Apology Approach

  1. I’m sorry for…: Be specific. Show the person you’re apologising to that you really understand what they are upset about.

  2. This was wrong because…: This might take some more thought, but this is one of the most important parts of the Approach. Until the child understands why an action wasn’t a good choice or how it hurt someone’s feelings, it’s unlikely they will change. This is also important to show the person they hurt that they really understand how they feel. Sometimes, people want to feel understood more than they want an apology. Sometimes just showing understanding– even without an apology– is enough to make them feel better!

  3. In the future, I will…: Use positive language, and encourage the child to express what they WILL do, not what they won’t do.

  4. How can I make you feel better? Let the other person decide how the apologiser could help make them feel better and move on. If they don’t want anything, this is fine.

This guide provides common situations that may happen in the Centre and home environments and offers best practice approaches to guiding children’s behaviours and working toward best outcomes for all children.

Biting

  1. Get down to the child’s level

  2. Acknowledge the behaviours and feelings of both children

The hurt child - a cuddle to help settle

The child who has bitten or hurt a peer - hold their hand to keep them engaged in the conversation

Nursery - Two years old

Child who was hurt: “ I am guessing you are really sad, that must have hurt to be hit/bitten, we will put some ice on that to help make you feel better”.

Child who hurt: “I am guessing you must be really frustrated or angry to have bitten your friend, look how sad you have made them? We are going to put some ice on that to make them feel better.

Guide child through 4 Step Apology.

Two years and older

Child who was hurt: “ I can see you look really sad, that must have hurt, what can we do (Educator and friend who hurt) to help make you feel better?” (Prompt the idea of first aid if needed)

Child who hurt: “ I am guessing you must have been really frustrated or angry to bite your friend, do you think you would like it if someone did that to you?”

Guide child through 4 Step Apology.

A child who is emotional and difficult to settle

  1. Get down to the child’s level

  2. Bring the child in – nurse, cuddle, hold hands or shoulders

  3. Acknowledge the feelings of the child

Nursery - Two years old

I am guessing that you are really sad. What can I do to help make you feel better? A cuddle, or would you like to play with your favourite activity?

Often a distraction for some children will work better than comforting them in the heat of the moment. Make sure that you always come back to support the child to express themselves and repair any relationships if necessary.

Two years and older

Are you able to tell me making you sad? If this child is unable to share, it is useful to have a guess: “I’m wondering if you’re sad because……….

” Is there anything I can do to help make you feel better?

Prompt with ideas if need be e.g. comfort or distraction.

Some children just need some time and space to settle. This is when you can give them some space after saying, “I can see you are upset, I am going to give you some time to settle down and you can come and see me if you need me”. It’s important in this situation that you stay nearby the child and regularly check in on the child, “How are you feeling? Make sure you let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you feel better.”

A child is running inside

  1. Discourage children from running inside by using the term “safe walking feet” in everyday conversations or when positively reinforcing their behaviour

    • “Can everyone please use their safe walking feet to go to the table for lunch” OR “I love how you are using your safe walking feet inside” when you observe a child walking safely in their routine.

  2. Where possible, get down to the child’s level. If they are putting their own or other children’s safety at risk you might not have a chance to do this.

  3. Where possible, bring the child in – hold hands or shoulders

  4. Acknowledge the feelings/actions of the child

Nursery - Two years old

  • “It’s not safe to run, you might get hurt. Walking feet inside please ”

Make sure you stress the potential consequence of running inside in this situation and that the last thing that you say is the thing that you want the child to remember for next time.

Two years and older

When children are older it’s important to have them thinking about consequences of their actions as this then promotes self-regulatory thinking. So in this case we would say: “Is it safe to run inside?”

If child isn’t sure we can then say;

  • “no, it’s not because we might hurt ourselves”

  • “Why isn’t it safe to run inside?”

If you haven’t had to prompt in prior question.

  • “What type of feet should we be using?”

If child isn’t sure we can say;

  • “safe walking feet”.

A child is throwing objects

  1. Where possible, get down to the child’s level. If they are putting their own or other children’s safety at risk you might not have a chance to do this.

  2. Where possible, bring the child in – hold hands or shoulders

  3. Acknowledge the feelings/actions of the child

Nursery - Two years old

If possible acknowledge why the child is throwing the item

  • “I’m wondering if it’s not working? Or “I’m guessing you’re feeling annoyed about……”

Once you have acknowledged the reason for the behaviour it is OK to talk about expectations and safety.

  • “It’s not safe to throw that, it might hurt someone. Remember, ______ are not for throwing, they’re for playing/building/driving etc”

Then model the correct use of the object. OR give the child something they can throw or set up an activity which provides the opportunity for the child to throw.

Two years and older

If possible acknowledge why the child is throwing the item

  • “I’m wondering if it’s not working and you’re frustrated? Or “I’m guessing you’re feeling annoyed about……”

Once you have acknowledged the reason for the behaviour it is OK to talk about expectations and safety.

  • “Is that what that is used for?”

  • “Do you think it’s safe to throw that?”

  • “Why isn’t it safe?”

  • “Can you show/tell me how to use that properly?” AND OR

  • “Do you feel like throwing something?”

  • “What could we use to throw?”

Then provide an opportunity for that child to throw balls etc.

A child is disruptive during group time

  1. Make sure you acknowledge when children are sitting well in group time, “Thanks so much for sitting quietly in group time so you and your friends could get lots of learning done”.

  2. Remove the child from the group setting where possible. Discussing their behaviour in front of their peers is likely to increase shame and embarrassment and may increase the likelihood of the behaviour increasing.

  3. Get down to the child’s level

  4. Bring the child in – nurse, cuddle, hold hands or shoulders

  5. Acknowledge the actions of the child:

Nursery - Two years old

Acknowledge why the child is disrupting group time

  • “Sometimes it’s really hard to listen and sit still. Even when something is hard, we still need to try and do it. If you’re not sitting still and listening then it’s hard for your friends to do those things too. Can you try to be part of the group and show me your best listening ears and still body?”

If child disrupts group again:

  • “I can see that you still have the wiggles and that’s OK. But we need to make sure it’s not bothering your friends. Would you like to shake out your wiggles and then sit with the group or go and choose a quiet activity?”

If the child remains with the group but is disruptive again, remove them from the group without giving them a choice to remain saying

  • “ those wiggles are tough to beat today. Let’s go pick something else to do so your friends can sit and listen”.

Two years and older

Acknowledge why the child is disrupting group time

  • “Sometimes it’s really hard to listen and sit still. Even when something is hard, we still need to try and do it. If you’re body isn’t listening and being still do you think that helps you learn? (No) Do you think it helps your friends? (No). “If you’re friends can’t listen what might that mean? (they’ll miss out on learning). Can you try to be part of the group and show me your best listening ears and still body?”

If child disrupts group again:

  • “I can see that you still have the wiggles and that’s OK. But we need to make sure it’s not bothering your friends. Would you like to shake out your wiggles and then sit with the group or go and choose a quiet activity?”

If the child remains with the group but is disruptive again, remove them from the group without giving them a choice to remain saying

  • “ those wiggles are tough to beat today. Let’s go pick something

    else to do so your friends can sit and listen”.

Children are fighting over toys

  1. Get down to the child’s level

  2. Bring the children in – hold the toy the children are fighting over in your hands to

  3. Engage their attention

  4. Acknowledge the actions of the child:

Nursery - Two years old

Acknowledge why the children are fighting over the toy

  • “I can see that you are both wanting to play with that, but there’s only one of those toys. How about we share? We can take turns. Here (child’s name) how about you play with it for five minutes then we’ll give (child’s name) a turn next?”

Two years and older

Acknowledge why the children are fighting over the toy

  • “I can see that you are both wanting to play with that, how about we work out a way to share it?”

Have the children work with you to decide a way that they can fairly share the toy.

A child refusing to go to the bathroom

  1. Get down to the child’s level

  2. Bring the children in to engage their attention

  3. Acknowledge the actions of the child:

Nursery - Two years old

Acknowledge why the child is refusing to use the bathroom

  • “I know you don’t want to go to the toilet right now, but if you don’t go you might have an accident or have a sore tummy” If in a nappy, give the child options: “Would you like to change your nappy standing up?”

If possible, try and have the child tell you why they don’t want to go to the toilet.

If the child can communicate that they don’t want to stop what they are doing to use the toilet then

  • “I know! It’s really hard to stop having fun to come to the toilet. But remember we need to make healthy choices. How about 2 more minutes/3 more turns and then we go to the toilet?”

Two years and older

Acknowledge why the child is refusing to use the bathroom

“I know you don’t want to go to the toilet right now, but do you want to have an accident or sore tummy?”


Ask the child why they don’t want to go.

If the child can communicate that they don’t want to stop what they are doing to use the toilet then

  • “I know! It’s really hard to stop having fun to come to the toilet. But remember we need to make healthy choices. How about 2 more minutes/3 more turns and then we go to the toilet?”

A child climbing on objects

  1. Where possible, get down to child’s level. If they are putting their own or other children’s safety at risk you might not have a chance to do this.

  2. Where possible, bring the child in – hold hands or shoulders

  3. Acknowledge the actions of the child:

Nursery - Two years old

Acknowledge the issue with the child climbing on objects

  • “That’s not a safe choice. You might hurt yourself. Remember: chairs are not for climbing, chairs are for sitting or forts are not for climbing on, they’re for playing in”

Redirect the child to another activity or perhaps set up an activity which reflects their need/want to climb

Two years and older

Acknowledge the issue with the child climbing on objects

  • “Do you think that’s a safe choice?” “Why don’t you think it’s a safe choice? Remember: chairs are not for climbing, chairs are for sitting or forts are not for climbing on, they’re for playing in”

Redirect the child to another activity or perhaps set up an activity which reflects their need/want to climb

If you have particular behaviour issues at home you would like support with, please see your Educator as they may have some approaches you might like to try. Otherwise, together you may come up with a consistent approach that can be used across both environments.